A loveless state

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My mind is still bruised by the past;
A harsh reality now stinks in my reality
And though i comfort my scars,
I feel i scarred her love
Scared the wits out of her
A single moment of rage
Laced with indecisive anger
A utopian feeling triggered by abuse,
Suddenly she seemed like the dagger
When all she was,
Now that i stare at the rear view ,
Was a definition of selfless understanding,
An icon,she placed affection on my lap,
But i spit my venom on her innocent smirk.
Is it too late to change that,
Or am i just a victim of a crazy mind
Fated by dharma to endure my wrath?
A loveless state!
An inclination to hate
She should have meted my slate,
Love should have loved me more,
Maybe;just maybe i'd have gotten rid;
Rid of my desire to annihilate

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